Yes, it is a self-portrait and "59" is my age. Yes, I did actually pour paint all over my body.
So what does the image mean and why did I do it as such? Well, I got mad, sad, stubborn and then I found my place in life and said to hell with you all, back to my vision.
The art world is a big ass scam, always has been and always will be and I think you know it too. Remember that banana duct-taped to the wall? Never mind how much it sold for, but how the heck did it even get up on the podium in the first place? Don't even get me started on all those master artists in the museums who have been ridiculed their entire life and then 'discovered' after their death. Things that make you go, hmmmm? Arbitrary rules and no accountability for decisions = scam-worthy. Add to that a system that encourages criticism and convinces artists to take it, well, it is just stupid on all levels that has zero to do with creating and everything to do with dominance.
Everybody is a critic all full of opinions and I am not an exception by my upbringing, and so I have to explore that in full honesty and remove my ego and past experiences and the bias input into my brain. I made it my mission to be the change. It hurts to be bombarded with negativity from others, close to you or society, that just don't understand where you and others are going and why their 'it' is so important. It is lonely and hard to stay within your vision when there are no signposts on new paths to tell you if what you are doing has a worth. I may die not knowing if what I do matters, or if I am just a drop in the bucket. I accept that challenge.
I will save you my sob stories because we all have them and struggle to find our place. This is why I paint the subjects that I do. Each one of us is a superstar and I gravitate to those who have owned that statement so they can lead others to their greatest potential.
For my self-portrait, I paint myself exactly as I see myself, but it extends beyond me because it is the human spirit in all of us. I ask the viewer if they can relate and see themselves in the subject.
Naked and posed ready to stand up = vulnerable but daring to be so.
The soft fur blanket represents the grounding of my beliefs to be gentle and kind.
The curtain behind my back shields me from negativity.
The paint over me is the constant flow of magnificent creativity that is within.
The wig, one of many I own, is my hat of joy and brazen fun.
I look to the light, determined to keep my vision. Thoughts are many, determination, doubt, hope. Have you been there?
My hands, right in the middle forefront, strong and capable, from these instruments, real action can be achieved.
I would like to have the world act my way, and so would everyone else, and I guess that is why it is all messed up. Instead, I will grumble and laugh at what I perceive to be stupid and continue with my vision, in gratitude, that I am able to do so.
Thank you all for your loving support.
Peace and love to you all on your journey.
Angela Tahara
