Before I share with you what was behind my process, I would ask that you allow your imagination to run away with you and see what it means in your own life context. I love to hear what others see because I find the stories are different, but many of the threads of the theme are the same.
What compelled me to make this is I had break-up with someone I loved. We just could not see eye-to-eye. I knew we would come into this conflict from the start, but I wanted to try to make it work because I knew where he was coming from. However, he could not understand where I was coming from. This situation had repeated in my life so many times and I needed to understand this pattern in me. Upon deep reflection, I found a way to put it in visual form.
This painting is not just about me, but the world situation in general. I completed this a year before COVID-19 and when the pandemic hit, OMG, polar opposites rocked the news.
We are all the same species. I am going to talk caterpillar and butterfly metaphor to demonstrate this as it is my painting and so you can understand what I am trying to convey in our society.
We are born caterpillar, crawling around in a safe space, close to the ground, learning to walk, but down there, one is insulated from knowing a greater self. Walk before you fly. For some it is comfortable and they stay there, defending it to the ends of time. For others, they cocoon, reflect, challenge, and take risks. That is a terrifying process to change because it is completely solitary and of free will.
Once a person truly begins to love themselves, they find compassion, their self individuality and become a butterfly. However, being a butterfly is not without danger as I have shown in the ever-changing clouds. That person gets tossed around by life and is very much vulnerable. As a butterfly, love drowns out fear and freedom is exhilarating.
Butterfly or caterpillar, you are still the same species. Butterflies cannot unknow what they know, but they have compassion for caterpillars and wish them the best. Caterpillars don't see the greatness in themselves but are comfortable in whatever state they are in. A caterpillar can be a butterfly, but a butterfly can never return to being a caterpillar, nor can a butterfly make a caterpillar cocoon or convince them of what awaits. Fear is a great force. We are the same species with different viewpoints.
When I became a butterfly over time, the transition was terrifying. I didn't know it was happening but I did know that I had to question and accept my individuality and truth. I thought I would be alone as I cast off negative people who wouldn't speak the truth. When I got my wings, I found amazing loving people doing wonderful things in this world, and they all had my back without knowing my name. Unconditional love, freedom and bravery is what I inherited for looking within and casting my own dogma out. I am still evolving.
That is this painting; there is no wrong with the caterpillar or the butterfly. Each has its challenges and perks in life. It just is and always will be in my lifetime. I do hope one day, everyone can experience the butterfly in themselves.
Angela Tahara
